To be a victim of narcissistic abuse is devastating. Whether the narcissist is at work or home, it is not obvious right away that the person in question has narcissistic traits, and they tend to cause a lot of emotional damage before we figure it out. In the workplace, we may be trying to gain the approval of a boss who is constantly raising expectations. With a parent, we are trying to gain love, nurturing, and attention and learn what works to get those needs met. In a romantic relationship, we so want to believe in the flowery picture the narcissist has painted for us, we tend to find ways to justify their behavior even when the behavior is overtly toxic. In any case, the non-narcissist is usually bewildered and needs time to understand and heal from what happened to them.